Sunday, September 12, 2010

First Impressions: Alpha and Omega (Film)

It's time for a new segment: First Impressions is going to be all about, well, my first impressions of things. Normally when one sees a movie trailer, book cover or whatever it is entirely normal to form some sort of opinion of the product before actually trying it. Well, for those of you that care about what monstrosities my mind expels from its squishy self, here you go.

Alpha and Omega (Film)


Have you seen this yet? Me neither, and I'm 100% positive that I never will. What I have seen, however, is the trailer for the movie. Actually, let me be more specific. The trailer was on, and I saw something about the characters that made me feel a few different emotions, most of them rage.


Do you see that? I do, and I can't fucking stand it.

I'm sorry, can you still not see what I'm talking about? Alright, let me approach this in a different manner. One that will hopefully disperse any confusion you may currently have.


Do you see what I'm talking about now? Hair? SERIOUSLY? How lazy of a character designer do you need to be that you have to give every character in your movie hair? To be honest, I can't even think of a good reason WHY either of these wolves should have hair. Can you? So why DO these characters (I will call them Alpha and Omega, as the film title implies, but I honestly have no idea what their names are and I refuse to check) have hair?

Sure you may be thinking to yourself, "Obviously, my handsome, intelligent, and all-around awesome blogging friend, it is so you can distinguish the males from the females."

(Insert brain aneurysm here)

Reasons why THIS cannot even potentially be a legitimate reason to give these animals hair:
1. The lengths are pretty much exactly the same, so there is nothing to distinguish the styles.
1b. Hair styles in today's society are as varying as ever. It is extremely old-fashioned to think "girls have long hair and boys have short hair."
2. Voices? I'm assuming these animals can talk. I say "assuming" because I could not bring myself to actually pay attention to anything in this trailer.
3. By admitting that it is a good idea for ANY reason, you are giving yourself much less credit than you actually deserve in the area of "being able to distinguish one thing form another."
4. I don't even need a fourth reason. It's just stupid.

Quick, what is the first animated movie about animals you can think of. The Lion King, probably. If not, it's The Lion King now. I can hear what you're saying, "But Mr. Awesome, Simba had hair!"

NO HE FUCKING DID NOT.
THAT IS A MANE YOU FUCKERS.

In fact, I'm pretty sure there wasn't a damn character in The Lion King who actually had some sort of hair that didn't belong.

Nope. Not a damn one of them.



What if Simba did have some sort of weird fucking hair like Alpha and/or Omega? Would that really have changed your first impression of the movie?

Would you still have seen the movie if you saw this on the trailer?

No.

19 comments:

  1. Hahaha I lol'd hard at the last pic xD

    I guess this movie is for furries otaku or something ^^

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  2. Hahaha, thats f**king hilarious. But I'd probably be more inclined to see the movie if they all had hair like the last picture...

    Showing the love.

    australiascrapas.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  3. Showing my support,It would be awesome if you returned the favor!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Nice,supportin'
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  5. animal in wigs is my favorite. haters gonna hate

    <3
    Sillyoldbum

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  6. nice post :D

    supporting

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    ReplyDelete
  7. love u're posts ...

    daily support!

    ReplyDelete
  8. just showing some love :)

    mitsuruchan12.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  9. Well written. (I ell oh elled).

    Seriously wolves need hair like fish need water.




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    ReplyDelete
  10. Haha, true. I thought it was going to be something epic judging by the name but noooooooo.
    KIDS MOVIE D:

    ReplyDelete
  11. nice blog !
    i like your post
    following you bro ;)

    ReplyDelete
  12. Kewl story, bro! Following!

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  13. seems the creators are very fond of furry..if u know what I mean...

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  14. Hahaha, never heard of this movie :D

    ReplyDelete